This morning I woke up and immediately felt unqualified to be a writer.  I have no idea why but I feel like today is a challenge for me in the confidence game.  A friend and colleague, who today will be named Sally, gave me a tip yesterday about facing this challenge.  It was this.  Picture your “demon”.  For me it was the negative voice in my head that consistently says, “Why would you say that.  How stupid.  You can’t write.  No one will want to read this or care at all about what you say.  You are just a bad writer.”  I immediately pictured this voice as me but with dark, dirty, greasy hair and wearing a long black shabby cape.  A bit like a Harry Potter character.  Sally then said to picture a container.  I chose a big heavy glass jar with a top.  I put the dirty girl into the jar and then an interesting thing happened.  Although this was all just in my mind, I couldn’t cram her in all the way.  It was like a tail or ragged end of the cape just wouldn’t go in.  It never ceases to amaze me how powerful the mind can be….  Sally suggested cutting it off.   I tried and eventually shoved her in the jar and slammed the top on.  Then I had to put the jar somewhere in my body – not my head, heart or stomach.  I chose my right foot.  Better to stomp on her that way.

So, this morning when I woke up there she was hanging on for dear life.  I’ve been repeating my mantra over and over again….”I know you are there but you are not in charge.  I am”.   I think this is a great tool.  But I wonder how many times a day I will have to stomp on her.  I’m guessing several…..  And of course I wonder if the glass will crack and part of this voice will sneak back up to the table.