Over the years I have come in and out of the idea that “you create your own reality”.   Maybe on some level I have always believed this to be true but it’s really been since I went to law school that I had a specific conscious thought about it.  Since then this idea has been expressed to me in many ways.  In fact, it seems a little like it is one of the more popular DIY, self-help mantras these days.   Whatever it is, one thing is for sure.   Believing this about yourself and your life is empowering and that is one thing we all need these days.  So what does “you create your own reality” mean?  For me, it’s this..

I think it means that you can be in charge of how your life looks and feels to you.  You can choose to see daily life through a certain lens.  If you do this often enough your future will also take on this same reality.  It is about choice of perception as well as choice of action.  For instance, I am writing this blog because I want to write professionally and this is my way of learning and practicing the craft.  So, it is my choice of practice modes – action.  However, it is also a way for me to see myself as a writer and to set myself up to live in that reality – perception.

There is so much that is out of our control in both daily life and our long term goals.  We need only turn on MSNBC to see how frenetic life has become.   The job market is tough, if not impossible for many; health care is uncertain at best; the cost of living is ever increasing and our government appears to be a train wreck.  Our Country seems to have lost it’s edge and may be getting closer to being at risk every day.  Actually, it’s probably better not to turn on the news – it can be far too unsettling.  My point is that any shred of control we can fabricate is most definitely good for morale.  Why not create a reality for your life that makes you happy and satisfied.  Why not choose to see your life in a way that lifts you up.

As I get older I find that choosing your reality and focusing on that lens is definitely not an easy task.  There is so much to consider.  Your family, your friends, your lifestyle, your health to name a few.  Every choice we make, intentional or not, simple or complex, impacts everything in your life.  Even something small like how to respond to my teenage daughter’s question about whether her clothes match or not.  Depending on my choice of response I can most certainly change everyone’s reality – from a somewhat calm, slow morning to a screaming match disturbing everyone within the current city block.  But I digress.  What I am really talking about here is something deeper.  A choice to see yourself in the world in a way that pleases you.  And it is so important to recognize that we really do have this choice.  It is also important to admit that this requires an active state of mind.  No one but you can choose your reality.  Unless of course you let them.  By the way, “them” includes the natural progression of things and doesn’t necessarily equate to a person.  By choosing nothing you are choosing to roll along with the tide, letting it take you wherever it goes.  This might be fine for some.  But as I get older I realize that it is not fine for me.

So I find myself at a point where I want to actively choose my reality.  For me this means doing something that is satisfying to me and that makes a difference to others.  It doesn’t have to change the world.  I just want to do something that matters.  So I have decided to write and I am starting with this blog.  But it is not easy.  A lot of people depend on me to be their “person”.  And without a doubt they come first.  I also am not the most confident of people.  So it takes effort for me to create a writing reality each day.   If there is something else I have to do, then I’ll choose to do that first.  This often ends up leaving me with little time for my reality.  But.  And this is a big but.  I realize that I am consciously choosing to carve out a sliver of the reality I want to create each day.  And for now this is enough for me.  Hopefully, as time goes on this reality will become more than just a sliver and will be most of my day.  Enough so that some day I won’t have to be quite so conscious about it.  I won’t need a lens because it’ll be straight up.  We’ll have to wait and see how the choices play out.