I have experienced so much in my life.  Some good and some not so good. Some expected and some truly surprising. Some came from struggle – some from luck or serendipity. And so much of all of it either led to, arose from or is simply grounded in my children. Any way you slice it, my experiences most certainly affect the lives of my children – in one way or another.  While I am forever grateful for that, they are no doubt laughing and rolling their eyes at that comment and thinking with immense sarcasm, “Great, thanks so much for that Mom”.

Sorry my lovely babies (yes you will always be that to me), but I will tell you with 100% certainty that if you have children it is almost impossible not to put your life on the back burner so they will be happy. It is hard to shake the immediate inclination to provide them with whatever they need, to protect them from any potential hurt or danger – no matter their age.  Again, if they read this there is likely such extreme eye-rolling that their eyes might get stuck in the back of their head. 

Nonetheless, here are some things about lifelong parenthood that I remind myself daily:

1. Support every bit of them – the good, the bad, the ugly – to the end. Even when you don’t think you can or should or it’s difficult.  Do it so you can  say “Ok then I did that.  I started it and have given them all I have.  Now it’s their turn.” This may seem counterintuitive in some circumstances but when I say support – I mean always have their back.
2. Let them make mistakes but be there when they fall.  We all make them and we all fall.  Being there to pick them up, dust them off and gently nudge them on to the next step is worth a mint. They – and you – will remember it forever.
3. Celebrate them. Even if it causes eye rolling and is resisted. Every step they take is a thread woven into their story and is cause for cheering.
4. Try not to take their words and actions personally.  Try not to be offended and remember that they think they are far smarter than we are.  In some ways they are far smarter than we are.  But in the most significant ways they are still blindfolded and creeping their way down a dark hallway, trying to find the right door.  Even though they say they don’t want us to take their hand and show them the door, in their heart of hearts they will welcome the lead.

---

And then there is this. The good, the bad, the ugly, the surprises, the struggles, the luck – all of the experiences I have had throughout my life have led to these little bits of life lessons. Even though some are hard to pull off on any given day, and I mean really hard, I believe in them all.

1. Always trust your instincts – believe in your gut
2. Don’t be deceived by flattery 
3. Each day is a gift in and of itself – so don’t waste a minute of any one of them 
4. Never put all your eggs in one basket
5. Be forgiving. If someone hurts you remember that they are probably hurting too
6. Try not to be irritable or angry and if you are don’t let it define you. It’s such a waste of time and energy
7. Be strong, take charge and don’t let others make decisions for you. After all it’s YOUR life
8. Remember who you are
9. Remember where you came from
10. Remember what your dad would say 
11. Remember what your mom would say
12. Don’t resist change
13. Give yourself permission to cry. A lot
14. Laugh. At anything and everything. It’s the best medicine there is
15. Regardless of the situation, its twist and turns, don’t regret anything and don’t turn away
16. Always be yourself. Don’t apologize for it and don’t pretend that you are something you are not. Being you is the greatest gift you can give yourself – and everyone else.

Above all else remember: be authentic. this is your life. it’s your story.

TELL IT

As I write this I can hear music in the background and am reminded of one of my all time favorites. Take a listen . . .