Dear Dylan:

I know you have read the posts I’ve written to and about your brother and sister.  And I also know that you’ve been waiting for this one.  The one about YOU.  Well, here it is my love.

For some reason, this letter to you is the hardest one to write.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe because it makes me think about how you are almost 13, a teenager, and I just can’t believe it.  It seems like just yesterday when I watched you smile at me with your first tooth peeking through.  Or maybe it’s because I have so much to say about the amazing young man you are becoming that I just don’t know where to start.  Or maybe it’s because you are my baby, my youngest child and whether you like it or not, you always will be that to me.  It’s part of my right as a mom to keep you in my heart stuck in time at a certain age.  This is true for all of you.  Nell will always be 2 with a small round face and curly red hair.  Jacob will always be about 5 and not want to go to kindergarten without me.  And you, Dylan, you will be about 10 months old, always smiling and always happy.

You are the littlest of my three miracles – my three biggest accomplishments.  When I was young I never thought I would have any children.  And now here I am with three beautiful children, each different in their own way and each one the absolute love of my life.  Remember the bear book, You’re All My Favorites, we would read at bedtime?  It explains exactly how I could possibly love you all so much and exactly the same – I love Jacob best as my first baby and I love Nell best as my second baby and I love you best as my third and last baby.  You are all my favorites.  That book will always be the truest thing I could ever say to each of you.  But this isn’t about all three of you it’s about YOU!

Having more than two children can be a challenge to parents.  After all, now you outnumber us and we can no longer divide and conquer.  I’ll admit when you decided to show up, this worried me a bit.  But you immediately quelled that apprehension.  You were the easiest of my babies.  You didn’t cry much – only when you really needed something.  You were a really happy baby, smiling all the time and carefully watching what was going on around you.  You slept well, you were a hearty eater.  And now all of a sudden, you are almost 13 and becoming a young man.  I just can’t believe it.  What I can believe is that I couldn’t be more proud of who you are becoming.  I am watching it happen in real time, day by day and it is stunning.

You are so comfortable in your skin, so easy with who you are.  I hope you know how rare that is, how special that quality is to us, humans.  It is one of the things about you of which I am most proud.   Most people take a lifetime to learn how to be comfortable with themselves.  In fact, I’m just learning this myself.  But you, Dylan, you are someone to emulate.  You are an example for all of us on how to be yourself in a world that tries to place most of us in a box that just doesn’t fit.  No one belongs in a standard size box.  We all have to take shape in whatever way suits us.  And I so love the shape you are taking.  It’s original, smart, proud, talented, funny, loving, sensitive – all wonderful things!  I hope that of all the things we have taught you, being proud of who you are and rocking it as you do now will stick forever.  It seems to have taken so far…..

This part of you, the proud, open and honest Dylan, is the one who stares out at me and is most evident when I look into your eyes.  Those giant, round, cool blue eyes staring at me from behind your cool boy glasses.  You have my brother’s eyes.  I tell you this all the time.  I don’t know where they come from because you two are the only ones in the family with giant orbs as eyeballs.  They are enormous and blue and gorgeous.  And they fit you in every way.  You are wide-eyed and curious, eager to learn new things and even better than that, eager to share what you learn.  There is nothing better than having you come home from school so excited to tell me what happened that day.  Your enthusiasm is absolutely contagious.  Don’t ever stop or inhibit that amazing part of you.

I always say that nerds rule the world and it is true.  Nerds are smart and are the ones in charge, everyone else works for them.  Believe me on this one.  Luckily, you come from a family of nerds.  None of us are really very cool and most of us are clumsy goofballs.  An example of this is how Jacob, Nell and I regularly trip going upstairs or how I, your devoted Mom, had a shiny gold bowling ball when she was in middle school.  Try not to smirk when you picture that one…..   And happily, you are one of us!  Somehow though you make it look easy and cool.  I know that you will be sought after by many, in so many different areas of life, so be sure to choose carefully.  Be sure to use your nerd radar and weed out all skeptics.

One of my most favorite things about you is your hilarious sense of humor.  This characteristic you share with your siblings.  And probably me and Uncle Stephen too. We can all thank Gaba for that trait.  And it is a good one.  Life can be so hard.  Having a sense of humor can get you through an awful lot.  Also, there is little else that is as joyful as making someone smile and laugh.  It is a happiness indicator and is priceless.  I know you understand this because I see your face when I’m cracking up at something you do or say. You have the sweetest most joyful expression – that look that says “I’m so happy to be making you happy.”

Trust me, my sweet boy, you make everyone who has the pleasure of being around you happy.  My littlest miracle, you are most definitely everything we could have ever wanted and so so much more. I am so lucky and proud to be your mom and cannot wait to see the fabulous man you will surely be.

Love you more, love you most,

Mom